Saturday, April 16th, 2016

It was a very odd few weeks for me as I processed my Bundjlung Aunty’s words. “Don’t say nothin” was an etching scripted into my mind each and every time someone asked me how my writing was going? Do you know that feeling, as someone is speaking to you, and your inner voice is over riding their voice. I could see my friends lips moving, but in my mind all i could hear was my own voice, reminding myself to just be quiet. “Sush Kirsten, remember what your Aunty said. Don’t say anything about your book!” See I had gone around telling everyone I was writing a book, and people were always making small talk about it… and each time I did this, I was basically giving my energy away and putting way too much focus on an end result rather than the journey. But here is the thing. I am a very talkative open person. How can I possibly exist without telling everyone every little thing about what I am doing and what my plans are? Also, what does “Don’t say nothing” even mean? And what if I don’t want to listen to this wise elder that had enlightened me? “Am I supposed to be keeping all of this a secret?” I would ask myself. Am I supposed to keep it a secret that I have transcendental imaginations and ancestral spirits?” It is very perplexing, because when you have these experiences, it is a bit like talking to flowers and trees, they don’t just answer you right back an answer to a question, things are mystified, and it is all much more obtuse than that. You can’t go out into the garden and say, “So Daffodil, how are you going today? Do you know what my Aboriginal Aunty was talking about when she said “Don’t Say nothin?”

Being advised not to speak is a hard reality to accept. I decided to try for a more open minded interpretation “How can I apply don’t say nothin differently?” I kept thinking to myself… “Maybe it means, I am not allowed to speak, but writing is Ok?! Maybe, from now on, I don’t talk to anyone ever, and I just write everything down instead? Maybe that’s my loophole? I can still communicate, I just don’t talk to anyone anymore!”

I have had  an experience like this before, where I was given some guidance from the universe and it was very confusing, and then I wondered over and over, how on earth I could possibly interpret it and apply it to my life?

There was this time that I had been living in London when I was 20 years old, and I decided to move, and I was taking a cab to Heathrow airport. I like to talk to the cab drivers, you know, make small talk and after a while of driving and talking, the cab driver turned around to face me as I sat in the back seat. “Do you mind if I pull over and read your palm?” He said. Now, I was a pretty innocent las, that believes in and hopes for the best in everyone. I  had done and energy scan of this guy before I got in the cab… Do you know what that means? Well just imagine light, and you have light in your eyes, and you feel the other person’s whole body and soul, with your whole body and soul. It is like a light beam passing over someone, and it gives you a feeling. So I did that to see how I felt about the cab driver before I got in the car. You can do it very quickly, it can just take 3 seconds, where you stop, evaluate, mental register. Check! Then you can get in the car… of course if you don’t get the green light, you will know and then to say, “Oh sorry, I just realised my plans have changed.” It is always good to ask yourself, “Do I want to get in a car with a stranger?” no matter who they are. When I asked myself was the taxi driver’s energy good, it was, and so then when he asked me if he could pull the car over and read my palm, I was ok with it. I know it is a little odd, but these things happen and so I went with it. As you all know I am super talkative and since this was before I was told “Don’t say nothin” I was probably sitting in the back of the cab, telling the driver my life story. Not from the beginning of my life, you know, just the bit I was living. I had just spent the past 6 months traveling through Greece, Italy, Spain, Portugal, the Netherlands and England and I was on my way to San Diego. It was October and the weather had turned dreary in London so I decided I would go somewhere sunny! “How old are you?” The taxi driver asked. “Twenty!” I said in a chipper voice. “And you are traveling alone?” He asked. “Yes,” I said, “It is very nice to travel alone, because you can go where you want to go whenever you want to go!” I said. What ever else I had happened to say must have intrigued him because as I said, the next moment, he asked to read my palm. So there I sat in the taxi, having my palm read by a fortune-telling taxi driver.

“You will live a long life. You will receive a large lump sum of money. You will love twice, one of which you will be a second woman.” I scribbled his words down in my diary, and we continued on our way to the airport. I wish I had asked him to be more specific and clarify and explain what that all meant because it was a riddled to me for years. Fortune telling is in part what you make of it, and in part what the reader brings to the table, but in this instance, when it came to me in such a random way, I felt obliged to muse upon the message. The long life part, was simple to digest, all the women in my family have lived into their nineties. The receive a large lump sum of money part, well, what constitutes as large is questionable, and who really wants to live their life thinking oh yay, one day I will have lots of money? But the third thing, the part where he says “You will only love twice, one of which, you will be a second woman.” That was a tricky sentence to comprehend. How on earth he got that from my palm I will never know… but anyway, into the matrix I went. “Am I going to love a man who once had another wife? Am I going to have an affair? Oh no, I would not ever have an affair!” I said to myself. Then of course, I wondered, “Will I love another woman one day? Will I become gay?” I really did not rule out anything in life. I like to see thing from all angles and possibilities. I have always been this open to love. I had not ever thought of myself as attracted to women, but who knows, maybe I had not ever met the right woman? Anyway, I tucked that palm reader’s guidance into my pocket, and off I went to America.

Well back to now, as I was saying, sometimes you will get random guidance on a spirit level, and it can take some time to interpret. It took me a long while to work out what, “You will only love twice, one of which you will be a second woman.” meant, and I will share that down the track. Of course, it was all only relevent because I wanted it to be. After spending so many moments here there and everywhere trying to decipher what the palm reader meant, I decided I would never accept psychic guidance again. Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t stewing on it, but it will just be one of those things that might pop into your head in 2002, then twice in 2005, then once again in 2009, and now here I am telling the story in 2016. Even if you are a rational forgetful person, moments from the past will pop up. Why? Don’t ask why, just go with it. You will be in a book store and see a cover of a book with a Greek man on it, and it will remind you of that cool taxi driver that you met that time you were on your way to Heathrow airport. Life, is just like that. Of course even though I don’t seek out seers, I love the psychics, because, well you know why. Life is supposed to be mystical and magic. I understand with all of our diversity, believing is individual and it parallels to religion and it all depends on you. With an open mind I am very selective and if I were to encounter another psychic I would say, “Only tell me things that are very specific!”

Ah, now I think of it, the last time I was at the ice skating rink, hanging out with the most psychic, psychic I have ever met, who is part of the School of Love, our exchange ended with. “I see you sitting at a desk, with people coming to you.”

So here I am once again… pondering, “What do these words all mean?” Anyway, I guess for now I will just stick to the idea that I should no longer speak, and just write.

Thank you for reading Magnesium Blue